Let's Face It...

They say that guys think about sex once every God-knows how often.

Is it true?

Well, yes. I'm hoping so. Otherwise, there's something incredibly wrong with me. In fact, I think I might be perverted.

But why is it that no statistics like that abound for women? Why is it people never say that women think about sex exery X amount of times? Is it for the same reasons we're told that women don't fart? (They "break wind" or "pass" it, remember.) Is it because women don't sweat (they "perspire"). And they don't belch, either.

Well, then what the hell are all those holes for if not to pass gas and, like every other mammalian species, sweat?

Now here's a pearl that you're probably going to think is a crock of bullshit - and you're welcome to believe what you want - but I, for one, feel incredibly uncomfortable when it comes to serious conversations about copulatory issues.

I remember in primary school. I was the big fish in a little pond and all that. My sister, being in Standard 4 (which, by today's educational standards, is called Grade 6 but is probably the equivalent of matric), was a few rows in front of me in the school hall. If I remember rightly, there was a bear (because it would've been too appropriate having a beaver teach your kids sex-ed) going on about something or other that we should probably only have come across at the age of 16 or so. The ursula asked a question and to my ultimate disgust and chagrin, a high-pitched voice unmistakenly that of my flesh-and-blood screamed out: "Vagina!"

I could have died. Probably should have.

Anyway, that was the first time I came across this previously unfathomed murky depth of the female psyche.

I only really became interested in the fairer sex towards the end of my matric year. Not because of anything gay - just that I had better things to do. Like get an education.

Funnily, my education only really started when my slow-blossoming interest took firm hold of my very being (it's ammusing how badly we are actually slaves to our libido, us guys).

But I would like to suggest - I had a whole argument here that really really supported my case, but would have really landed me up in major shit, so I removed it - that women are just as much slaves to theirs.

The only thing is that they're multi-taskers, so they're a hell of a lot better at hiding it.