On Team Building and Stroking Pussy

Saturday. Team building. Just the thought of it was daunting. A Saturday with the very people I hope to avoid all weekend.

In the end, it turned out not to be all that bad - even though it wasn't the greatest thing ever to happen, I must admit there was fun had by all. What better way to amuse a bunch of TV guys than expose them to the same kak they put viewers and contestants through week by week.

A company was hired in, and they created an Amazing Race circuit for us to follow.

It was great fun. And I'm not being sarcastic. We raced around Northern Joburg, deciphering clues and completing challenges that included things like building towers, problem solving, counting (real) crocodiles, go-kart racing and target shooting.

The highlight for me, however, was stroking the pussy. As always.

And here, I'm talking about the mother of all pussy: the lion!

Having worked on 50/50 for three years, I've really started to miss working with the better of God's creations: animals. People are just far more unreliable. At least you learn to never trust an animal. As long as you remember that, then you have nothing to fear.

In fact, I've worked with some of the deadliest beasts on earth. And I've only experienced fear twice:

1) When a Rottweiler almost took my hand off

2) Whenever the animal in question was a snake

And that's all.

Above, you can see some of the pictures from the day.

That was the second time I'd been so close to a fully grown lion (except the first time, there was a sheet of glass between the beast and me). This time I was able to smell the crusting blood and raw meat on its breath. Admittedly, I even took a very quick, very tentative stroke against its nose. The feeling was amazing: to touch the King of the Beasts, knowing it's capable of killing someone three feet taller than me with one deft swipe.

But the thing that really struck terror into my heart was knowing that the guy next to me delivered a mud pie into the seat of his underpants when the lion jumped up, and that there were still twenty minutes left to the end of the drive!

Another highlight was holding a baby crocodile in the palm of my hand and stroking a giraffe. Really, really cool.

But I better get going: today's quite a corker.